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10 Ways to Practices Self Reflection

10 Ways to Practices Self Reflection

by | Feb 27, 2023 | Personal Development

Self-reflection is an amazing tool for creating the best version of yourself.

It can also be confronting exercise to undertake.

Let’s be honest it’s challenging to go deep within and look with yourselves.

It to easier to distract yourselves and fill your days with, a long to-do list in an effort to avoid reflecting on yourself

Your attention is pulled in so many different directions by the outside world that self-reflection is not often at the top of your to-do list.

The reality is unless you make space and time to self-reflect it is not going to happen.

It feels easier and more comfortable to turn your attention outwards instead of inwards. Go within and looking deeply at yourselves is something most of us avoid.

The mind often distracts you and tries to create more things to do.

Are you ready to go on your own journey of self-reflection?

Self-reflecting is not necessarily an easy journey to face. However, I will promise you this. It is one of the most valuable journeys; you will undertake for your personal growth.

“The Journey into self-love as self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life” (Iyanla Vanzant)

 

Self-reflection is the process of taking the time to go within and analyse your inner self on a deeper level.

Through these analyses, you are able to gain insight into who you are, what you value, and your thoughts, actions, desires and motivation.

Within the self-reflective process, you come to understand your true self. By looking inward, you take off the mask you wear for the outside world.  It allows you to connect with yourself and grow from this self-reflection experience.

Self-reflection is a powerful process and it will have a positive effect on your life.

Ten Practices for Self-Reflection

1. Journaling for self-reflection

Journaling is a beautiful way to deep self-reflection. It can be as simple as writing a daily self-reflection sentence about anything you want to reflect on. If you feel you want to go a little deeper. Then write a long journal entry about something good or bad that you experienced. Explore and reflect on the event, your thoughts feelings or emotions that are coming up for you. Try not to censor what you write, allow the words to flow. Then read over your journal entry. Reflect upon what you have written, you will be amazed by the insight you get from your writing.

There is no wrong or right way to journal. do what feels right for you and will help you to reflect inwards.

2. Question Yourself

Asking yourself the tough questions is a vital part of the self-reflective These questions can feel uncomfortable however, by asking these questions and answering honestly, you are able to hold a reflective mirror up to your lives and yourself.

Reflective questions:

Who do I want to be?

What do I stand for?

How I’m behaving?

What are my values?

What are my desires?

Is my life heading in the direction I want?

What motivates me?

What makes me happy?

These are big questions, but they allow you to go deep and truly reflect on who you are and what drives your behaviour.

3. Allow time for Stillness

Do you make time in your day for stillness?

As it only from being still and silent.  You are able to go within and deeply connect with yourselves and reflect. With stillness, you get to know the real you. These not hiding or distracting yourself. You take a deep inward journey and slowly peel away the lays. There is nowhere to hide in stillness. You are complete with yourself. Disconnected from the external world that disconnects your true self.

Reflect:

How can you create time for stillness in your day? It can be as simple as a 5-minute mindfulness practice e being still and present in the moment.

Or a beautiful meditation practice. That brings you into stillness.

(check out the resources below for free meditations)

Creating time to be still it allows the space to do the deep reflective work you need to connect, grow and learn more about yourself.

4. Get in touch with your feelings

Reflect on your feelings and get in touch with how you feel. This is deep work. For many of us, it is easier to push our feeling aside or tell ourselves that what we are feeling is not valid. Do not dismiss how you feel. You have the right to feel the way you feel and not to push your feelings aside.

By reflecting on feelings and understanding them. It gives insight into your emotional and mental well-being.

Try this practice:

Take a breath

Pause

Reflect:

Go within and ask how do I feel.

Why am I having these feelings?

How are these feelings affecting me?

If you need support with exploring your feeling, more. Enlist the help of a professional counsellor or coach. (work with me)

5. Reflect on the story

Reflect on the story you are telling yourself. The inner critic can be lode and mean.

By reflecting on the story and the words, you say to yourselves. It helps to develop inner awareness. Generally, the default story we tell ourselves is the I’m not good enough story.

Reflect:

Listen to what it is you say to yourself. Do you need to release the old story or harsh words you speak to yourself?

Stepping back and observing the story gives you the power to defuse the thought pattern. Develop a regular reflective practice of the stories and words you use. It will empower you to recognise when the story is no longer serving you and to replace it with a new and improved story.

 6. Care of Self

One of the best ways to care for yourself is to reflect on what your needs are and how you care for yourself

Reflect:

How do I currently care for myself?

Do I spend more time caring for others than I do for myself?

 

What do I need to feel cared for?

What do I need to feel my best?

Then from the answer to these questions create a care plan for yourself. A great way to put in place, your plan is to pick a time and day that you are committed to implementing care for yourself. I like to have time on Sundays. I call it my self-care Sunday!

 

     

    7. Self-compassion and kindness.

    Did you know that being kind to yourself has a great positive effect on your life? Think about it the way you treat yourself influences every aspect of your well-being. We are with ourselves 24/7 and we can say some unkind things to yourselves. Would you say to a friend the thing you say to yourself? The words we say to yourselves have meaning.
    Reflect: Do I treat myself with kindness and compassion?

    Do I need to be kinder to myself?

    Try this: saying something that creates a sense of kindness.

    Phrases such as “I am kind to myself” and “I am gentle with myself “. I treat myself with kindness.

    Place your hand on your heart and say I hold myself with kindness and compassion. Experiment and reflect on what feels good and brings up a feeling of self-compassion.

    8. Personal Growth

    Do you ever stop and look at how much you have grown? The lessons you have learned along your journey. By self-reflecting on your personal growth, it gives you a picture of where have you been and where are you going.

    I am sure along the way there have been mistakes and challenges. However, think about all that you have gained from these experiences.

    Reflect on: How much growth you have achieved

    Reflect on the personal growth that has taken place over the last 5 years. What have you done? what have you achieved?

    An important thing to look at is what you have learned from challenges or mistakes you have made.

    Growth can only come about when you reflect on where you once were to where you are today.

    9. Permission to Dream 

    Do you give yourself permission to dream?

    Dreams are important. They give your life purpose, direction, goals and meaning for your life.

    Reflect upon the dream you are holding. What life do you want to create in the future.? Having a dream to look forward to gives you a sense of hope, control and choice about your future.

    Don’t give up on your dreams. By giving up on your dream, you are giving up on yourself. Give your self-permission to dream and pursue the life you desire.

    Reflect:

    Do you have a dream? Do you think you are worthy of your dream?

    Are you ready to give yourself self-permission to pursue your dream?

    10. Mind-Body Connection 

    The connection between mind, body, emotions and spirit has been proven scientifically.

    We are more than our thoughts. There is an undeniable connection between mind, body, emotion, and spirit.  This connection makes us who we are.

    Reflect:

    How do I care and connect with:

    My mind?

    My Body?

    My emotions?

    My spirituality?

    Reflecting on the relationships, we have with the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual self. Allows us to nourish and connect with ourselves fully.

    You may want to choose one self-reflection practice and try each day over the next 10 days.

    The journey of self-reflection has so many benefits for our personal growth. Taking time for self-reflection can be difficult and challenging. It is confronting to step back and reflect on yourself. Yet, there are so many benefits of self-reflection. It allows you to connect with yourself, gain perspective, learn and grow.

    Embark on your self-reflective journey a create the best version of yourself.

     

    Quote Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools to your success.

    Free Resources:

    Free Meditations Click here

    How to teach yourself to feel good enough Read More 

     

    What is self-reflection and why is it important Click here  

     

    How To Make Your Needs a Priority

    How To Make Your Needs a Priority

    by | Nov 15, 2022 | Mental Health, Self Care, Well-Being

    Do you put others needs before your own needs?

    Why do you feel the need to put yourselves last? 

    Is it because you think it is selfish to put your needs first?

    Often as children, we are told to think of others. We were encouraged to allow others to go before us and to think about their needs. When I was a child, this was considered good manners. Now I’m not suggesting that showing others kindness and empathy to another person is a negative thing. I want to explore how we carry these patterns into our adult life and put the needs of others first.

    Why  don’t we  show ourselves the same kindness and empathy we are willing to show others? We make other people’s needs more important than our own needs.

    On the odd occasion, you try and put your needs first what is your reaction?

    Do you consider yourself selfish for even daring to think about yourself?

    We push our own needs aside thinking by putting others first will make us a good person.

    Does it actually make you feel good putting everyone else’s needs above your own?

    By putting yourself last you are actually not able to effectively care for others.

    On an aeroplane, the safety message says to put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help someone else.

    This same principle could be applied to life. If you don’t help yourself and put your needs first, then what happens?  It feels like life energy is being drained out of you. You use all your energy to think and care about others and you end up neglecting your own needs.

    Often you have pushed your own needs aside for so long it’s difficult to recognize what your needs are.

    I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t think about others or care for them, I’m saying that if caring for everyone else at the expense of always putting yourself last, then how effectively can you care for others?

     

     

    Have you heard the saying is you can’t pour from an empty cup?

    Essentially, the saying means that in order for you to effectively take care of others, you must first take care of yourself.

    So how do you fill that cup?  Because the fact is, you are worthy of putting your need first.  In fact, it is essential that you recognize what your needs are and start putting yourself first. Now if you have been putting everyone else first this notion of putting yourself first is going to feel uncomfortable.  I’m sure your mind has started to come up with lots of excuses about you putting your needs first.

     Often the mind will say things like this:

    • You can’t do that
    • That selfish
    • What will others think
    • I have to take care of my children, mother, father, partner.

    And let’s face it! the list could go on and on. But the fact of the matter is if you’re not taking care of yourself and putting your needs first who will take care of your needs?

    Do you ever catch yourself feeling resentful about doing so much for everyone else and no one seems to notice or be thinking about your needs,

    We teach others how to treat us and if you have always put everyone else first and our own needs last then this is what other will expect from us.

    You are worthy of having your needs met. In fact, it is essential that you start taking care of yourself and your needs. Stop putting yourself last and start putting yourself first for a change.

    I bet your next question is well that sounds great but how do I do that.

    You do that by starting to fill your own bucket!

    What does it mean to fill your own bucket? It means doing those things for yourself that you enjoy. You know those things that fill you up, energize you and give you joy in your life. Ultimately filling your own bucket.

    Unfortunately, these are often the things we push aside and come up with all sorts of excuses for why we can’t do those things that fill us up. Leading to a leaking bucket feeling depleted and your bucket empty.

    We are great at doing all we can to fill other’s bucket. But what about your bucket? How do you fill your bucket and prioritize yourself?

    Filling your bucket is about doing those things that are important to you. The things that you have a passion for, make life fun and enjoyable. Your bucket is completely unique to you. We all have things that light us up.

    What’s in your bucket?

    It’s time for you to have some fun and create your buckets. As I mentioned your buckets are unique to you. Don’t look outwards to find the answer go within, give yourself some time to reflect on what is important to you.

    Your bucket can take on many forms. It could be health, personal development self-care time. The list goes on.

    There are no limitations to what your bucket is. It is about you getting clear about what is important to you in life.

    Your mission if you’re ready to accept it is to create your buckets. Start by creating a list of all the things that are important to you. Those things that give you energy, support you or give you a whole lot of joy. Have fun and allow yourself to create your buckets.

    Here is an example of what my buckets look like. These are the things that fill me up.

    •  Quality Time with my partner
    •  Connecting with my Spirituality
    •  Taking care of my mental health
    •  helping others
    • Learning new things
    • Travel

    Create what’s important to you!

    Now it’s time for you to create your own list of buckets of the things that are important to you.

    Once you have your list of buckets. How are you going to make sure you fill each of them?

    Create a plan and prioritise your buckets. These are the things that are important to you and create your fulfilling life.

    You have two choices here. You can continue as you are and function on empty, or you can fill your bucket and feel full. It’s up to you.

    We must take care of ourselves before we have the capacity to care for others.  Else we end up with an empty bucket and feeling unfilled.

    Create your list of buckets and start filling them up!

    .

    Remember it’s not selfish to care for yourself it’s a necessary

    The Pathway of change

    The Pathway of change

    by | Sep 22, 2021 | Well-Being

    A guide to navigating change in your life)

    At one point or another, we need to walk the pathway of change.

    Change is never easy. I will admit I never enjoy change. I like it when things are predictable and I have a plan.

    I will confess I like to feel I am in control.

    Our world has gone through a massive change and so many have felt the impact on a global scale.

    When we experience change, it feels scary and unstable. The mind likes to keep us safe. It will often bring up thoughts that fill us with fear. Not helpful! but the mind thinks it’s doing a good job at keeping us safe from harm. The mind likes to keep things familiar and predictable. The reality is most of us like to have some predictability in our life.

    When a change in your life occurs, how do you manage it is the question.

    Change is like walking down an unfamiliar pathway. We are met with an uncertainty of where it will lead, we may encounter detours, and we are not too sure of what we will encounter along the way. Deep down we hope the change will lead to something even better in our life. Yet, that uncertain voice inside of us will present all the “what-if scenarios”. We like to be prepared and have a plan in case something goes wrong.

    While we are walking the pathway of change how do we navigate the array of feelings and thoughts that come up?

    Here are three practices that can help you with navigating change in you life

    1. Discover the resources you have within you

    We all go through many phases of change within our lifetime. Reminding ourselves that we have been through change before. Think for a moment about who you are today. All the changing versions of yourself, you have experienced over your lifetime.

    A great way to recognise what changes you have been through is to look back and think about all the changes you have gone through .

    Take out a piece of paper find a quiet place and allow 15 minutes to create your change list.

    Write down a list of all the changes you can think of that you have gone through up until today.

    From the list look at the item think about either the lessons or the resources, you have gained from that change. There will be a mixture of positive change and change that may have difficult for you. Even from change that was difficult, some of the great’s lessons emerge. It can feel tough when you are going through change. But once you’re on the other side you have learned and grown from the experience.

    That’s why this practice is so powerful. It reminds us that even in difficult circumstances. We raise to the challenge and get through the change. We have the resources within us we have been through change before and we survived.

    2. Opening up the change.

    The more we resist change the more difficult we make it for ourselves. While we know this on a conscious leave, we still seem to love to resist change. We want to stay in our comfort zone where it is familiar and safe. But change is enviable. Everything changes no matter how much we want to keep it the same. Life is constantly evolving, let us make it easier on ourselves by opening up to change. Being open to change allows us the grace to be present and to feel what is coming up.

    Sit with the feeling and allowing the feeling to be there. It may feel uncomfortable. But have you noticed the more you try and resist the more uncomfortable the feeling becomes? Try allowing the feeling to be there. Bring your attention to the feeling and breath into it. Then allow yourself to open up to the feeling, without pushing it away, allow any feeling to be there as it is. Without pushing or fighting. Continue to observe any sensations you feel. If the feeling changes that is ok. If it doesn’t change that is ok also. The goal here is not to get rid of the feeling. The aim is to allow the feeling to be there.

    You may be asking what the point of this exercise is if you feel uncomfortable. This exercise is about showing you that uncomfortable feelings can arise within you. But, the more you push and try to get rid of them, the more uncomfortable and challenged your feelings. Through this struggle with feeling, you make the change more painful for yourself. By allowing the feelings to be there and being with it. You eventually drop the struggles with the feeling. You open up to and make room for the feeling. You’re making life easier for yourself. By allowing yourself to be open and flow with the change without resistance.

    3. Show yourself compassion

    One of the most important practices, when change happens, is to show compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself. A simple way to show yourself compassion during times of change. Is to use compassionate hands practice.  Take your right hand and place it over your heart. Place your left hand on the upper part of your stomach. Imagine your hands are filled with loving compassionate energy. As you hold yourself with these compassionate hands. Allow yourself to take some slow deep breaths. You may want to repeat to yourself “ I am okay”

    This practice can be used anytime you need to show yourself love and compassion, during challenging times.  (I have recorded a guided practice for this here 

    Change within our lives is enviable. Things will change around us and within us no matter how much we want to hold onto the way things are. As you walk the pathway of change remind yourself. You have resources within you, you have been through change before. Resisting change makes, it is more difficult to allow yourself to open up to the feeling. The most important thing to remember is when you experiencing change, hold yourself with love and compassion

    If you need more support with the change you are experiencing in your life please please get in touch with me or have a look at my work with me page. I would love to support you during this time.

     

     

     

    Tips for Practicing Self-Compassion and Kindness

    Tips for Practicing Self-Compassion and Kindness

    by | Apr 16, 2021 | Mental Health, Well-Being

    Have you ever been harsh or critical with yourself? My guess is the answer is “YES”.  Did you know as humans, we are much harsher on ourselves than we are with other people? Think about it, have you secretly blamed and then beaten yourself up with negative self-talk. We do it so frequently, that we go on to autopilot. The criticism,  blaming and hash self-talk starts to flow. Before we know it, our mind filled with toxic thoughts.

    If you can relate then I would love to let you in on a little secrete. One of the best ways to calm the harsh self-talk is to practise kindness and self-compassion.

    Trust me! By being, kind and showing yourself, compassion will profoundly change your life. The more we practice being kind and compassionate with ourselves. The more we will develop the habit of self-compassion.

    Here are a few tips on practising self-compassion to get you started.

    Create Self Compassion time

    We hear about the importance of self-care and the many benefits, but have you ever consider creating a self-compassionate time? Here some of my favourite ways to create self-compassion time in my day.

    It only takes 10 minutes and it can make a huge difference to your emotional and mental health.

    Self-soothing practices  

    We can do simple practices such as self-soothing rituals like breaths in and say “

    “I treat myself with love, kindness and compassion”.

    Then breathe out. Repeat for five breath cycles.

    Self-compassion break

     Take a self-compassion break. –It’s just like taking a tea break. A quick break in your day to show yourself some self-compassion. Step away from daily task and take 5 minutes break to show yourself some self-compassion. Do one kind thing for yourself during your compassion break. Pop a reminder on your phone or in your calendar. Then you have your self-compassion time scheduled. There no excuses for missing out on taking 5 minutes to be kind and compassionate to yourself.

    Morning Routine

    Another way to create self-compassion time is to start a morning routine that includes compassion.

    This may be a morning meditation practice. (Check the link below for a free self-compassion meditation).  As part of your routine, you may like to include saying some compassionate words to yourself or give yourself a compliment. A great way to implement this is to write out your compassion words on a post-it note and stick it on the mirror.  Then when you’re getting ready in the morning, it’s right there on the mirror as a reminder. The perfect way to show yourself a little love and compassion in the morning.

    Taking a self-compassion break helps you to care and nurture yourself. It allows you to open your heart and be kind to yourself.

    Self-compassion practice for difficult emotions

    When difficult emotions arise, we often experience feelings of overwhelming. When in this heightened state it is the perfect time to show yourself kindness and compassion to bring about emotional calm.

    First recognizing the emotion without judgment or attachment. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself it’s normal to have an emotional reaction when life is difficult. Be gentle and nurturing with yourself. Give yourself the space to work through the emotions. Be open and ‘make room for thoughts and feelings. Allow feelings to flow through you. Don’t try and fight the feeling , push them down, or control them. Validate your experience through kind self-talk. Practice accepting difficult emotions when they arise.

    When we accept that, it’s a normal part of being a human to have uncomfortable thoughts feelings and emotions is an act of self-compassion within itself.

    Compassionate exercise when difficult emotions arise.

    Pace your right hand on your heart, and then place your left hand over the top of your right hand.

    Take a few deep breaths and calm yourself –

    Close your eyes – Repeat this affirmation Slowly 10 times.

    “I am ok”.

    Self-compassion through writing

    Writing is a great way to express emotions, improve your well-being and show kindness.

    Try to incorporate self-compassion into your journal writing. This will make practising self-compassion even stronger.

    In your journal, be open and honest with yourself. Write about anything experiences you had during the day. Did you feel bad about anything? Or judged yourself harshly? Was there a stressful situation? Write anything you want to allow yourself to reflect on your experience. From this experience, explore ways you can show yourself self, more kindness and compassion

    I find using kind words such as:

    I’m doing the best I can.

    I’m learning and growing from my experiences.

    I forgive myself

    I reflect and look for ways to be my best self

    I’m kind and gentle with myself

    You may like to write you on self-compassion phrases, which feels good to you.


    Self-compassion letter

    Another writing exercise is to write a self-compassionate letter to yourself. In your letter let yourself know that you care about yourself. Be gentle, and reassuring towards yourself. Write yourself some kind, comforting words. This exercise is helpful in difficult times when you need to show yourself some love and kindness.

    Compassionate Self-touch

    This is a simple practice but is a powerful way of showing kindness and compassion.

    Find a comfortable position.

    Now bring your mind to something you have been struggling with, it could be an internal struggle or an external struggle. Sit with this struggle for a moment. You may want to consider how this struggle is affecting you, how it is affecting your life. Notice what difficult thoughts and feeling are arising.

    Become aware of within the body where you feel the feelings that are arising. Be aware of the part of the body that is hurting the most.

    Now bring your attention to one of your hand. Within this hand, imagine that you hold someone that is very kind and caring.

    Then place this kind and caring hand gently on whichever part of the body that hurts the most.

    Send warmth, care and compassion inwards. Through the palm to the place that is hurting.

    Imagine the body softening, relaxing and making space. Allow kindness and compassion to flow through your body.

    Continue with this kind of self-touch for as long as you wish. (You can download a guided recording of this practice) here

    Only through practice, we become better at showing ourselves compassion. It may feel a little awkward and uncomfortable at first but, the more kindness and compassion we are with ourselves. The better we become at handling life’s ups and downs.

    Forgive yourself be gentle with yourself and recognize that you are a human.

    You make mistakes.  You do not have to be perfect. You are learning, growing and doing the best that you can.

    So, next time you are harsh or critical of yourself. Take a moment to pause and draw upon one of these practices. Show yourself kindness and compassion you are worth it.

    You are worth of self-compassion

    You are worthy of kindness

    You are worthy of self-love.

    And remember:

    You can search the entire universe for someone who more deserving of you love and affection than you are yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love affection, kindness and compassion. – Budda

    I would love to hear how you feel about this topic and how you are bringing more self-compassion into your life Leave a  comment or get in touch here.

    You may feel inspired to start your journey of self-compassion. Please click here. To find out more about how I can support you.

    Listen to a free self-compassion meditation here.

    A Guide To Self -Compassion

    A Guide To Self -Compassion

    by | Feb 23, 2021 | Mental Health

    Many of us struggle with self-compassion. I personally view myself as a compassionate person, but self-compassion is something I have struggled with, in my own life. I’ve had to learn the skills of how to be kind and compassionate towards myself.

    Self-compassion takes practise, patience and perseverance, to perfect your skills.  Once you master the skill of self-compassion, you unveil a beautiful masterpiece within yourself

    So how do we start creating our masterpiece within ourselves?

    As I mentioned, many of us view ourselves as compassionate people. It’s easier to treat others with compassion, kindness and warmth. However, many of us can struggle to treat ourselves with the same compassion.

    What is self-compassion?

    Self-compassion is a mindfulness technique. It is the ability to acknowledge your own, thought, feelings and responses with understanding acceptance and kindness towards yourself

    In other words, treating yourself the same way you would treat a good friend who is experiencing painful emotions. Think about how you would treat that friend. I am sure you would be warm, caring, kind and compassionate, towards them.

    However, if you were in the same emotional pain. Could you extend the same compassion and love towards yourself? Are you able to acknowledge your plain and hold yourself in a kind, caring, warm, and compassionate way?

    It is not always easy to show ourselves compassion. When we are in pain, we offend treat ourselves with harshness unkind word, judging and criticizing ourselves. The inner critic’s loves to show up when we make a mistake, fail at something or feel stressed and overwhelmed.

    When the inner critic overwhelms us with judgement, harsh words, and negativity,   it is easy to miss the point of self-compassion. We invalidate our emotions by telling ourselves: We should not feel this way. We should not have these thoughts. Our mind tells us we should not act like this. We call ourselves unkind names. We repeated the “I am not good enough” story over and over again.

    Does it sound familiar to you? We can be so harsh and critical of ourselves. Invalidating our experiences, thoughts, feeling and emotions. When we are overcome by difficult thoughts or feelings. This is the perfect time to learn how to show ourselves more self-compassion.

    Many of us have little or no experience with self-compassion. Often when we told about self-companion, we find it threatening self-indigent or overwhelming.

    The fact is that self-compassion has so many positive effects on every aspect of our lives.

    Over the last decade, research has consistently shown a positive correlation between self-compassion and well-being

    That including:

    • Boost to happiness
    • Improved self-imagine
    • Self-worth
    •  Resilience
    •  Reduce stress
    •  Improved mental health

    How do we start taking the steps to develop self-compassion?

    The concept of self-compassion may feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable at first. If you are embarking on this self-compassion journey for the first time. Start by building self-compassion through small steps.

    Do not allow yourself to be threatened and overwhelmed by the inner critic telling you it’s too hard.

    Stop and reflect for a moment: “We have been criticizing ourselves for years and it has not worked. Let’s try something different. Try showing yourself approve, compassion and kindness and see what happens”

    Take your time and be gentle with yourself. Here are some tips to get you started with self-compassion.

    Understanding the relationship with the Inner critic.

    Most of us are familiar with the inner critic. That voice in our mind is quick to judge and citizen us. The inner critic seems to enjoy the opportunity to highlight our mistakes, flaws, and failures.

    Making us feel that we cannot measure up to the expectation, we place on ourselves. We replay the “never good enough” story on repeat in our mind. The relationship we have with our inner critic gives us the opportunity to start taking the first steps to developing self-compassion. We can learn how to release the “I’m not good enough story”, self-judgment and harsh words of the inner critic.

    This is one of the most important steps towards self-compassion.

    The first step is we need to become aware of the stories we tell ourselves. We can do this by, noticing and naming the story our inner critic is telling us. Then we can teach start ourselves how to disengage from the inner critic.

    We do this by seeing the inner critics as nothing more than words and pictures, our mind is showing us. We do not need to get into a discussion with ourselves about whether it’s true or false. We can show ourselves self-compassion. By letting the thoughts and pictures of the inner critic come and go in their own time. We do not need to be pushed around by the inner critic. We can show ourselves kindness and compassion in the storm of the inner critic by:

    Talk to ourselves in a caring gentle and understanding way.

    Try this: Notice and Name the Story

    • This week start to notice the story you tell yourself.
    • You may want to write down the words you say to yourself.
    • The next step- is to name the story eg, (There is the “I’m not good enough story).
    • By giving the story a name, it gives you more power. Realising it’s a story, it does not mean it is true or false. It’s only words and you can choose how much power you give those words.
    • Let go of the story if it is unkind.
    • Put your hand on your heart. Take some deep breaths. Release the words and show yourself kindness and compassion.

    Only through practice and patience, do we become better at showing ourselves compassion. Next time the inner critic shows up and starts judgement and using harsh words.  Take a moment pause and notice and name the story. Remember self-compassion is showing yourself the same kindness you would show a  friend or loved one in pain. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of kindness, and most of all you are worthy of self-compassion.  Start mastering the skill of self-compassion and unveil that beautiful masterpiece that is within you.

    Are you ready to start taking the first steps to show yourself self-compassion?

    I would love to hear how you feel about this topic and how you are bringing more self-compassion into your life. Please comment and share your experience

    Do you feel inspired to start your journey of self-compassion? Please click here for more information about how I can help you with self-compassion. It is one of my favourite things to teach. If you have any questions please feel free to get in touch