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How to Become the CEO of Your Health During Menopause

How to Become the CEO of Your Health During Menopause

by | Jan 26, 2025 | Mental Health, Personal Development, Self Care, Well-Being

Understanding Menopause and Its Impact

Did you know that 1 in 3 women are experiencing menopause symptoms at any given moment?

Yet, over 80% of doctors admit they feel “barely comfortable” discussing the subject. This means the stigma and silence surrounding menopause continue today.  Leaving countless women without the support and guidance they deserve from medical professionals.

Since menopause symptoms can begin up to a decade before the official transition, nearly 20% of a woman’s life may be spent feeling misunderstood, unsupported, or unprepared.

That’s why it is time for you to become the CEO of your health during menopause.

 

    Understand the Stages of Menopause.

    I will admit it until recently I was one of those women. I had no idea what was going on with my body.  I was clueless that there were stages to a woman’s menopause journey.

    Let me give you some insight and help you to understand the Stages of Menopause.

     

      

     Stages of Menopause.

    1. Pre-menopausal: The Calm Before the Shift

    Pre-menopause is the phase when your reproductive system is still working as usual. Hormones like estrogen and progesterone are cycling regularly, supporting ovulation and menstruation. During this time, you may feel balanced, with no signs of hormonal change. For many women, perimenopause feels like the “normal” state before the subtle stirrings of change begin.

    1. Perimenopause: The Transition Zone

    Perimenopause is the bridge between your reproductive years and menopause. This phase typically starts in your 40s but can begin earlier. Think of it as your body gradually dialling down hormone production, especially estrogen.

    Common symptoms of perimenopause include:

    • Irregular periods (heavier, lighter, or skipping cycles)
    • Hot flushes and night sweats
    • Mood swings and increased sensitivity
    • Sleep disturbances
    • Brain fog or difficulty focusing

    The intensity of these symptoms varies, with some women barely noticing the changes while others feel like they’re on a rollercoaster. Perimenopause can last several years, with hormone levels fluctuating until you reach the next stage.

    1. Menopause: The Milestone Moment

    Menopause officially begins when you’ve gone 12 consecutive months without a period. For most women, this occurs around age 50. At this stage, your ovaries have significantly reduced their production of estrogen and progesterone, and you’re no longer ovulating.

    Some symptoms of menopause may overlap with perimenopause, like hot flashes and mood changes, but they often start to stabilize over time. Menopause marks the end of fertility, but it’s also a time to reflect, reset, and embrace a new phase of life.

    1. Postmenopausal: Life After Menopause

    The postmenopausal stage starts after you’ve hit that 12-month milestone without a period. Hormone levels remain low, and symptoms like hot flashes typically ease. However, this phase brings its considerations, such as bone health, heart health, and managing the long-term effects of low estrogen.

    If you feel like no one truly understands your journey, you’re not alone. However, by taking charge of your health and educating yourself you can transform this phase into an opportunity for empowerment and growth.

    Why You Should Take Control of Your Menopause Health

    Managing your menopause health isn’t just about alleviating symptoms. It’s about reclaiming your confidence, improving your quality of life, and embracing a holistic approach to wellness.

    How to become the CEO of your health during menopause

    Educate Yourself: The Foundation of Empowerment

    Start by learning about what’s happening to your body. Understanding the changes you’re experiencing can help demystify symptoms and alleviate fear. Key areas to research include:

    • Hormonal Fluctuations: Learn how estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels impact your body.
    • Common Symptoms: Be aware of mood swings, hot flashes, weight changes, and sleep disturbances.
    • Long-Term Impacts: Understand how menopause affects bone density, heart health, and mental clarity.

    Reliable information is power. Turn to trusted resources, including menopause-focused books, online forums, and health practitioners specializing in women’s menopause health.

    Track and Monitor Your Symptoms

    Keeping a symptom journal is a practical and empowering step. Documenting your experiences provides clarity and helps identify patterns. Your log might include:

    • When symptoms occur (time of day, season, or hormonal cycle).
    • Triggers such as diet, stress, or lack of sleep.
    • Severity and duration of symptoms.

    This data becomes invaluable when consulting with healthcare providers, enabling more tailored support.

    Nurture Your Mental and Emotional Well-Being

    Menopause can challenge your emotional health. Stress, anxiety, and mood swings may feel overwhelming, but there are strategies to help:

    • Practice Gratitude: Start or end your day by writing three things you’re grateful for.
    • Explore Therapy Options: Hypnotherapy, mindfulness or acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can address emotional challenges effectively. 
    • Build a Support Network: Connect with friends, family, or menopause-specific support groups to share experiences and tips.

    Investing in your mental health enhances your resilience and overall well-being.

    Holistic Approaches to Menopause Symptom Management

    Adopting natural and holistic strategies can complement traditional medical care:

    • Herbal Remedies: Consider black cohosh, red clover, or ashwagandha after consulting a qualified healthcare professional.
    • Nutrition for Hormonal Balance: Prioritize foods like flaxseeds, leafy greens, soy, and oily fish.
    • Acupuncture: This ancient practice has shown promise in reducing hot flashes and promoting relaxation.

    Explore what works for you and remember that small adjustments can have a big impact over time.

    The Role of Physical Activity in Menopause Health

    Staying active not only improves physical health but also boosts mental clarity and emotional balance. Here are some effective activities:

    • Strength Training: Supports bone density and muscle health.
    • Yoga: Enhances core strength and posture, reducing joint pain and creating a sense of emotional calm.
    • Aerobic Exercises: Improve cardiovascular health and combat fatigue.

    Aim for at least 30 minutes of movement five times a week, and choose activities that bring you joy.

    Prioritize Sleep and Restorative Practices

    Sleep disturbances are a common menopause symptom, but they’re not inevitable. Improve your sleep quality by:

    • Establishing a consistent bedtime routine.
    • Reducing screen time an hour before bed.
    • Keeping your bedroom cool and dark.

    For added relaxation, consider incorporating sleep hypnosis,  breathing exercises, yoga nidra, or progressive muscle relaxation techniques. (Try a free yoga nidra session here)

       

        

      Getting the Right Support During Menopause

      Menopause is a significant transition, and having the right support can make all the difference to your well-being. Remember you are the CEO think of it as building your professional team to support you. Here are a few tips on getting the right medical support in place

      Work with the Right Medical Professional

      Seek out a medical professional who specializes in women’s health and truly listens to your concerns. It’s important to feel heard and understood, so don’t hesitate to try different providers until you find one that aligns with your needs. Remember, you are the CEO of your health.

      Once you’ve found a trustworthy healthcare provider, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Be curious, explore your options, and take an active role in your care.

      Self-Care: The Key to Thriving

      Menopause is the perfect time to prioritize self-care. Embrace activities that nourish your body and mind:

      • Treat yourself to spa days, massages, or aromatherapy.
      • Engage in creative outlets like painting, gardening, or journaling.
      • Practice mindfulness daily to stay grounded.

      Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s a necessity.

      Creating Your Personalized Menopause Health Plan

      Taking charge of your menopause journey requires a clear, actionable plan:

      1. Set Health Goals: Identify what’s most important—better sleep, fewer hot flashes, or improved mood.
      2. Find Trusted Professionals: Build a team of specialists who understanding menopause care.
      3. Stay Consistent: Build routines that work with your lifestyle.
      4. Evaluate Progress: Adjust your plan as needed, focusing on what brings the most relief.

       

      Explore Treatment Options

      Menopause is not one-size-fits-all, and there are a variety of treatments available. While Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) can be life-changing for many women, it’s not the only option. Here are a few alternatives to consider:

      Take the time to discuss these options with your healthcare provider to determine what works best for you.

      Finding the right support can empower you to navigate menopause and care for your health.

      Take Charge of Your Health

      Menopause is a natural and transformative phase of life. By becoming the CEO of your health, you reclaim control over your health and wellness during menopause. Empower yourself with reliable sources of information, education, symptom tracking, holistic care, and self-compassion, so you can thrive during menopause.

      Empower yourself you are the CEO of your health so take change you are worth it.

      Helpful Links

       Prioritizing Yourself: A guide for women during menopause 

      The Menopause Brain, by: Lisa Mosconi 

      The New Menopause, by Nary Claire Haver 

      Free Guided Hypnotherapy Sessions

      Download Here
      Prioritizing Yourself: A Guide for Women in Perimenopause and Menopause

      Prioritizing Yourself: A Guide for Women in Perimenopause and Menopause

      by | Jan 13, 2025 | Mindfulness, Personal Development, Uncategorized

      As the new year begins, it’s time to refocus on what truly matters: you. For women navigating perimenopause and menopause, prioritizing yourself is more than a resolution—it’s a necessity.

      Hormonal changes, emotional shifts, and life’s demands can take their toll. This guide will help you embrace self-care, set realistic goals, and celebrate every win, making 2025 your year of empowerment and transformation.

      Let’s get started!

      Why Self-Care is Essential for Women in Perimenopause and Menopause

      Self-care is not just a buzzword; it’s your lifeline during a pivotal stage of life. Perimenopause and menopause bring unique challenges, from fluctuating hormones to changes in sleep and energy levels. By focusing on your well-being, you equip yourself to face these changes with the appropriate resources and mindset.

      When you make self-care a priority, you’re not only enhancing your physical health but also fostering emotional resilience. It’s about honouring yourself, your needs, and your journey.

       Advocate for Your Health: Take Control of Your Well-Being

      Your health is your foundation. Start 2025 by becoming your own best advocate.

      The CEO of your health!

      This means:

      • Addressing your symptoms: Stay on top of your health using the resources you have available to you. Seek advice from a medical professional who specialises in and understands menopause. Address symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, or weight changes early. Empower yourself if your symptom is dismissed by a medical professional then seek a second option.  You have so many options in the treatment of symptoms you no longer need to suffer through menopause.  Speak up and be a strong advocate for yourself.
      • Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to seek clarity from healthcare providers or a qualified natural therapist. You know your body better than anyone, so don’t be afraid to speak up and ask questions. The more information you have, the better equipped you are to make the best decision for you.  Understanding your options empowers you to make informed decisions.
      • Explore Options: Don’t limit yourself to only mainstream Western medicine. Explore options beyond traditional Western health care.  Look into holistic therapies, hypnotherapy, natural hormone treatments, or natural remedies tailored to your needs. There are so many more options available to you beyond traditional Western medicine. Educate yourself about your options.  Become a curious explorer and do your research. It can be as simple as starting with Googling:  “natural menopause treatments that work”

      When you advocate for your health, you’re taking an active role in your wellness journey.

       Setting Real-Life Wellness Goals That Work

      Forget unrealistic resolutions that only lead to frustration. Real wellness starts with achievable goals that fit into your lifestyle.

      This means:

      • Start Small: Incorporate manageable changes like drinking more water, adding fruits and vegetables to your meals, or getting more sleep.
      • Be Consistent: It’s not about perfection but persistence.  Start to make small daily habits that relate to your wellness goals. By consistently implementing small daily habits you can create lasting change over time. Start today and ask yourself what one thing “I can do today that’s a step towards my wellness goal for 2025.
      • Track Progress: When you start working towards a goal it is easy to lose sight of all the progress you are making. Using a journal or app to monitor your achievements, no matter how small they seem allows you to track the progress you are making. It also helps to keep you focused and motivated to keep moving towards that wellness goal.
      • When your goals align with your lifestyle, you’re more likely to stick with them and see results.

       Move Your Body for Health and Happiness

      • Physical activity is a game-changer for women in perimenopause and menopause. It boosts your mood, improves bone density, and reduces stress.
      • Find What You Love: Whether it’s dancing, yoga, swimming, or strength training, choose activities that bring you joy. You are more likely to stick with it if you enjoy it!
      • Prioritize Consistency: Aim for at least 30 minutes of movement most days of the week. Remember, something is always better than nothing.
      • Listen to Your Body: Adjust your routine as needed. If you’re tired, opt for restorative yoga or a gentle walk.
      • Exercise doesn’t have to be difficult and something you avoid. Reframe the way you look at exercise as a celebration of what your body can do.

       Celebrate Every Win: Big or Small

      • Every positive step you take deserves recognition. Celebrating your wins, no matter how small keeps you motivated and reinforces your commitment to self-care.
      • Daily Wins: Drank enough water? Got a good night’s sleep? You did do some self-care? Celebrate your win!
      • Milestone Achievements: Are you Stuck with an exercise routine for a month? Amazing!!!  Reward yourself with something special.
      • Practice Gratitude: Reflect on what you’ve accomplished and appreciate the effort you’ve made.
      • Acknowledging your progress fosters a positive mindset and keeps you moving forward.

       Manage Overwhelm with Mindfulness

      • Feeling overwhelmed is common, especially when balancing life’s responsibilities. Combat this by practising mindfulness and prioritizing what matters most.
      • Focus on the Present: Use techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling to ground yourself in the moment.
      • Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain your energy. Protect your time and peace.
      • Break Tasks Into Steps: Tackle overwhelming tasks one small step at a time to make them more manageable.
      • By managing overwhelm, you create space for clarity and calm.

       Reframe Menopause as a New Beginning

      Menopause is not the end—it’s a powerful new chapter in your life. Instead of seeing it as a limitation, view it as an opportunity to focus on yourself and redefine your goals.

      • Shift Your Perspective: Embrace menopause as a natural stage of growth and self-discovery.
      • Explore Your Passions: Use this time as a new chapter in your life to try new hobbies, travel, or invest in personal development.
      • Connect With Others: Join communities or support groups where women share experiences and insights.
      • Reframing menopause transforms it into a source of empowerment.

       Stop Sacrificing Self-Care for Others

      Women often put themselves last, prioritizing family, work, and other responsibilities. This year, challenge that mindset.

      • Give Yourself Permission: Recognize that taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s essential.
      • Delegate Responsibilities: Share household tasks or work duties to free up time for yourself.
      • Create Non-Negotiable Self-Care Time: Schedule time for self-care activities and treat it as sacred.

      When you care for yourself first, you’re better equipped to support those around you.

       Practical Tips to Make 2025 Your Year of Self-Care

      1. Schedule “Me Time” Regularly: Dedicate time each week to activities that recharge you, whether it’s reading, painting, or simply relaxing.
      2. Practice Daily Gratitude: End each day by listing three things you’re grateful for to cultivate a positive mindset.
      3. Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with friends, family, or mentors who uplift and inspire you.
      4. Invest in Professional Support: Consider working with therapists, health coaches, or wellness experts to guide your menopause journey.
      5. Stay Flexible: Life happens, and that’s okay. Adjust your plans as needed without guilt.

       

      Embrace 2025 as Your Year of Growth and Empowerment

      This is your time. In 2025, prioritize yourself unapologetically. Advocate for your health, set goals that inspire you, and celebrate every step of your journey. By embracing self-care, you’re not only improving your life but also creating an inspiration for those around you to take care of their wellness too.

      Let this year be the one where you make your health a priority, live bolder, and step into your power. You deserve it.

      Helpful Links

      The Menopause Brain, by: Lisa Mosconi 

      The New Menopause, by Nary Claire Haver 

      Free Guided Hypnotherapy Sessions

      Download Here

      10 Ways to Practices Self Reflection

      10 Ways to Practices Self Reflection

      by | Feb 27, 2023 | Personal Development

      Self-reflection is an amazing tool for creating the best version of yourself.

      It can also be confronting exercise to undertake.

      Let’s be honest it’s challenging to go deep within and look with yourselves.

      It to easier to distract yourselves and fill your days with, a long to-do list in an effort to avoid reflecting on yourself

      Your attention is pulled in so many different directions by the outside world that self-reflection is not often at the top of your to-do list.

      The reality is unless you make space and time to self-reflect it is not going to happen.

      It feels easier and more comfortable to turn your attention outwards instead of inwards. Go within and looking deeply at yourselves is something most of us avoid.

      The mind often distracts you and tries to create more things to do.

      Are you ready to go on your own journey of self-reflection?

      Self-reflecting is not necessarily an easy journey to face. However, I will promise you this. It is one of the most valuable journeys; you will undertake for your personal growth.

      “The Journey into self-love as self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life” (Iyanla Vanzant)

       

      Self-reflection is the process of taking the time to go within and analyse your inner self on a deeper level.

      Through these analyses, you are able to gain insight into who you are, what you value, and your thoughts, actions, desires and motivation.

      Within the self-reflective process, you come to understand your true self. By looking inward, you take off the mask you wear for the outside world.  It allows you to connect with yourself and grow from this self-reflection experience.

      Self-reflection is a powerful process and it will have a positive effect on your life.

      Ten Practices for Self-Reflection

      1. Journaling for self-reflection

      Journaling is a beautiful way to deep self-reflection. It can be as simple as writing a daily self-reflection sentence about anything you want to reflect on. If you feel you want to go a little deeper. Then write a long journal entry about something good or bad that you experienced. Explore and reflect on the event, your thoughts feelings or emotions that are coming up for you. Try not to censor what you write, allow the words to flow. Then read over your journal entry. Reflect upon what you have written, you will be amazed by the insight you get from your writing.

      There is no wrong or right way to journal. do what feels right for you and will help you to reflect inwards.

      2. Question Yourself

      Asking yourself the tough questions is a vital part of the self-reflective These questions can feel uncomfortable however, by asking these questions and answering honestly, you are able to hold a reflective mirror up to your lives and yourself.

      Reflective questions:

      Who do I want to be?

      What do I stand for?

      How I’m behaving?

      What are my values?

      What are my desires?

      Is my life heading in the direction I want?

      What motivates me?

      What makes me happy?

      These are big questions, but they allow you to go deep and truly reflect on who you are and what drives your behaviour.

      3. Allow time for Stillness

      Do you make time in your day for stillness?

      As it only from being still and silent.  You are able to go within and deeply connect with yourselves and reflect. With stillness, you get to know the real you. These not hiding or distracting yourself. You take a deep inward journey and slowly peel away the lays. There is nowhere to hide in stillness. You are complete with yourself. Disconnected from the external world that disconnects your true self.

      Reflect:

      How can you create time for stillness in your day? It can be as simple as a 5-minute mindfulness practice e being still and present in the moment.

      Or a beautiful meditation practice. That brings you into stillness.

      (check out the resources below for free meditations)

      Creating time to be still it allows the space to do the deep reflective work you need to connect, grow and learn more about yourself.

      4. Get in touch with your feelings

      Reflect on your feelings and get in touch with how you feel. This is deep work. For many of us, it is easier to push our feeling aside or tell ourselves that what we are feeling is not valid. Do not dismiss how you feel. You have the right to feel the way you feel and not to push your feelings aside.

      By reflecting on feelings and understanding them. It gives insight into your emotional and mental well-being.

      Try this practice:

      Take a breath

      Pause

      Reflect:

      Go within and ask how do I feel.

      Why am I having these feelings?

      How are these feelings affecting me?

      If you need support with exploring your feeling, more. Enlist the help of a professional counsellor or coach. (work with me)

      5. Reflect on the story

      Reflect on the story you are telling yourself. The inner critic can be lode and mean.

      By reflecting on the story and the words, you say to yourselves. It helps to develop inner awareness. Generally, the default story we tell ourselves is the I’m not good enough story.

      Reflect:

      Listen to what it is you say to yourself. Do you need to release the old story or harsh words you speak to yourself?

      Stepping back and observing the story gives you the power to defuse the thought pattern. Develop a regular reflective practice of the stories and words you use. It will empower you to recognise when the story is no longer serving you and to replace it with a new and improved story.

       6. Care of Self

      One of the best ways to care for yourself is to reflect on what your needs are and how you care for yourself

      Reflect:

      How do I currently care for myself?

      Do I spend more time caring for others than I do for myself?

       

      What do I need to feel cared for?

      What do I need to feel my best?

      Then from the answer to these questions create a care plan for yourself. A great way to put in place, your plan is to pick a time and day that you are committed to implementing care for yourself. I like to have time on Sundays. I call it my self-care Sunday!

       

         

        7. Self-compassion and kindness.

        Did you know that being kind to yourself has a great positive effect on your life? Think about it the way you treat yourself influences every aspect of your well-being. We are with ourselves 24/7 and we can say some unkind things to yourselves. Would you say to a friend the thing you say to yourself? The words we say to yourselves have meaning.
        Reflect: Do I treat myself with kindness and compassion?

        Do I need to be kinder to myself?

        Try this: saying something that creates a sense of kindness.

        Phrases such as “I am kind to myself” and “I am gentle with myself “. I treat myself with kindness.

        Place your hand on your heart and say I hold myself with kindness and compassion. Experiment and reflect on what feels good and brings up a feeling of self-compassion.

        8. Personal Growth

        Do you ever stop and look at how much you have grown? The lessons you have learned along your journey. By self-reflecting on your personal growth, it gives you a picture of where have you been and where are you going.

        I am sure along the way there have been mistakes and challenges. However, think about all that you have gained from these experiences.

        Reflect on: How much growth you have achieved

        Reflect on the personal growth that has taken place over the last 5 years. What have you done? what have you achieved?

        An important thing to look at is what you have learned from challenges or mistakes you have made.

        Growth can only come about when you reflect on where you once were to where you are today.

        9. Permission to Dream 

        Do you give yourself permission to dream?

        Dreams are important. They give your life purpose, direction, goals and meaning for your life.

        Reflect upon the dream you are holding. What life do you want to create in the future.? Having a dream to look forward to gives you a sense of hope, control and choice about your future.

        Don’t give up on your dreams. By giving up on your dream, you are giving up on yourself. Give your self-permission to dream and pursue the life you desire.

        Reflect:

        Do you have a dream? Do you think you are worthy of your dream?

        Are you ready to give yourself self-permission to pursue your dream?

        10. Mind-Body Connection 

        The connection between mind, body, emotions and spirit has been proven scientifically.

        We are more than our thoughts. There is an undeniable connection between mind, body, emotion, and spirit.  This connection makes us who we are.

        Reflect:

        How do I care and connect with:

        My mind?

        My Body?

        My emotions?

        My spirituality?

        Reflecting on the relationships, we have with the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual self. Allows us to nourish and connect with ourselves fully.

        You may want to choose one self-reflection practice and try each day over the next 10 days.

        The journey of self-reflection has so many benefits for our personal growth. Taking time for self-reflection can be difficult and challenging. It is confronting to step back and reflect on yourself. Yet, there are so many benefits of self-reflection. It allows you to connect with yourself, gain perspective, learn and grow.

        Embark on your self-reflective journey a create the best version of yourself.

         

        Quote Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools to your success.

        Free Resources:

        Free Meditations Click here

        How to teach yourself to feel good enough Read More 

         

        What is self-reflection and why is it important Click here  

         

        How To Teach Yourself To Feel Good Enough

        How To Teach Yourself To Feel Good Enough

        by | Jan 13, 2023 | Mental Health

        Let’s begin with a question that may feel a bit uncomfortable, but it’s an important question to reflect on.

        What is the story you tell yourself over and over again?

        This can be a comforting question. If you really stop for a moment and listen and think about what you are saying to yourself.

        That voice in your mind what it’s telling you.

        The words you say to yourself have power. The reality is you are with yourselves 24/7, there is no hiding from what you say to yourself.

        The stories that are on repeat in your mind shape your life and the way you view yourself.

        Did you come up with an answer? What story do you tell yourself?

        My guess is this story has a theme to it. Did you know that there is a common theme to most stories we tell ourselves?

        Want to know what the story is?

        The I’m not good enough story.

        Does that sound familiar?

        The words that you are saying to yourself often have a theme of not being good enough.

        Did you know that this is the most common story most humans struggle with?

        They believe they are not good enough. We look for confirmation in the outside world about how we are not good enough. We tell ourselves this story over and over again.

        Now I could sit here and tell you something like: Believe in yourself and turn those words around to something positive and repeat to yourself that you are good enough. And you are good enough. But we all have something called our internal voice in our mind and our mind can be a tricky thing. The mind likes to protect us and thinks that it’s helpful. But sometimes the mind is unhelpful and can be downright mean.

         

        Saying  postive affiramtion that you don’t belive to  turn that negative self-talk around may  be helpful in the short term. But after a while, you start to fight against your mind and then you spiral back down to the same habit of repeating the… I’m not good enough story.

        Let me give you some practical advice for the ‘I’m not good enough struggles.

        Struggle 1: Question Your Efforts

        We all have those times when we struggle with questioning ourselves

        I’m I doing enough?

        I’m I good enough?

        Is what I’m doing enough?

        Is this good enough?

        The list goes on…

        Even as I write this blog post my mind is asking if this is really good enough. It is looking to pick apart all the way it is not enough.

        Your mind can be critical at times and you are so hard on yourselves.

        The I’m not good enough story can be loud and disheartening.

        Here is a practice to help when you find yourself criticizing your efforts.

         

        1. Think about some of the criticisms your mind tells you

         

        1. Pick one of the criticisms that you say to yourself a lot. (The one you have on repeat.)

         

        1. Now be present. Become aware of how it makes you feel when your mind gets caught up in criticizing you.

         

        1. Open up to the feelings and notice them. You may want to try some deep breathing.

         

        1. Then turn your focus on doing something that will make your life more meaningful. What is something that will add value to your life, that you can do right now and give your attention to?

        I know it can painful but by opening up and being present to the feeling but once you become aware of the feeling showing up, you can start turning your focus on more meaningful things. Rather than getting caught up in the “I’m not good enough story”.

         

        Struggle 2: Feeling You’re Not Doing Enough

        Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed with always trying to fit more on your to-do list?

        The more you try to do the more you question- “I’m I doing enough”?

        Maybe you thought you’d be further ahead in life than you are right now, or maybe you have a list in the back of your mind of things you “should” be doing.

        No matter what you do, it doesn’t seem to be enough.

        Let’s explore that feeling of not doing enough.

        Many of us judge ourselves for never doing enough. We ridicule our efforts as not being good enough. We have a long list of all the things we should be doing. Thinking if I just complete my do-to list, I will finally feel I’m good enough.

        I know this feeling because I use to let myself get stuck in the mindset of “I have to do more to be enough”. Maybe you can relate.

         

        Are you always think you have to do more to be enough?

        Maybe seeing other people’s successes might trigger this feeling of inadequacy.

        Do you set unrealistic expectations for yourself and think that nothing you do is ever good enough?

        Let’s turn this thinking around. Because the truth is no matter how hard you push yourself and create an endless to-do list. It not going to make you feel enough. Instead of trying to do it all, try celebrate yourself and the effort you are putting in to the things you are doing. 

        Here is a  practice help if you find yourself trying to do more and more to be enough.

        Answer these questions:

        What have I achieved that I never thought possible?

        How have I progressed and grown in the last year?

        How can I celebrate my effects?

        Take time to celebrate your progress, achievements and growth. Turn that self-judgement into a celebration of doing and being enough in this moment. Often we never stop to celebrate our effects and how far we have come. Our mind is ready to jump to the next thing. Again never feel fulfilled with the success we already achieved. So instead of adding more to your to-do list celebrate all that you are right now.

        Now that you celebrate yourself even if it was just a little bit. What if the next thing I asked you was- Do you know you are enough as you are?

        Now stop for a moment before you read on. When you read the above statement what is your first thought? Just observe your thoughts for a moment.

        Was your first thought, yes I’m enough.

        Or did you start to question I am, I enough as I am? Or did you say no I’m not enough

        The truth is you are enough exactly as you are. Our first response is often to think about all the ways we think we are not enough.

        Let me tell you right at this moment you are all that you are meant to be.

        And being enough is not about being perfect or reaching some ideal Enough is being all that you are right now.

        The mess parts of you

        The broken parts of you

        The imperfect parts of you

        The changing and growing parts of you

        The beautiful parts

        The unique parts of you

        Despite all this, You’re already enough.

        Struggle 3 Recognising you are enough as you are

        Who gets to decide what being enough is?

        Have you stopped to think about, What is enough anyway? Are you measuring your enoughness with an unrealistic image of perfection?

        I will let you in on a little secret – You get to decide what enough is!!!

        Nobody else gets to decide what enough means to you. You can only decide for yourself.

        It can be a constant internal battle to feel enough. With judge yourselves in so many ways as not being enough.

        That voice in your head tells you: I’m not pretty, I’m not skinny, I’m smart, I’m not confident enough. The list goes on and on…..

        But the reality is you hold all the power you get to decide what being enough is for yourself. No one outside of you can decide that for you. You are the only one that can decide what enough looks and feels like for you. You have a choice you can continue to strive for some unrealistic image of being good enough. Or you can get crystal clear in your own mind about what your version of being enough is.

         

        Journal Practice for defining being enough

        In your journal answer these questions to get clear about what enough means to you.

        What does being enough feel like?

        What does being enough look like?

        Define what being enough means to you?

        Being enough is a working progress. Your mind will look for ways to tell you are not enough. Unfortunately, this is what the mind does. But you know have something very powerful and that’s awareness. The first step to change is being aware of the thoughts and feelings that are coming up for you. Be aware of what enough means to you. Shut off the loud voice of the outside world.

        “You are enough exactly as you are”

        Celebrate yourself instead of judging yourself. Because we all have those messy broken and imperfect parts to us. And you know what that’s ok because you’re working a progress and every day you growing learning and doing the best you can. And that is enough.

        Resources

        Recommended  book: Cassie Mendoza- Jones “You Are Enough”  Click Here

        Free Meditation You Are Enough Guided Meditation Click Here

        Learn more about how Hypnotherapy can support you with your self-esteem Click here 

         

        How To Make Your Needs a Priority

        How To Make Your Needs a Priority

        by | Nov 15, 2022 | Mental Health, Self Care, Well-Being

        Do you put others needs before your own needs?

        Why do you feel the need to put yourselves last? 

        Is it because you think it is selfish to put your needs first?

        Often as children, we are told to think of others. We were encouraged to allow others to go before us and to think about their needs. When I was a child, this was considered good manners. Now I’m not suggesting that showing others kindness and empathy to another person is a negative thing. I want to explore how we carry these patterns into our adult life and put the needs of others first.

        Why  don’t we  show ourselves the same kindness and empathy we are willing to show others? We make other people’s needs more important than our own needs.

        On the odd occasion, you try and put your needs first what is your reaction?

        Do you consider yourself selfish for even daring to think about yourself?

        We push our own needs aside thinking by putting others first will make us a good person.

        Does it actually make you feel good putting everyone else’s needs above your own?

        By putting yourself last you are actually not able to effectively care for others.

        On an aeroplane, the safety message says to put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help someone else.

        This same principle could be applied to life. If you don’t help yourself and put your needs first, then what happens?  It feels like life energy is being drained out of you. You use all your energy to think and care about others and you end up neglecting your own needs.

        Often you have pushed your own needs aside for so long it’s difficult to recognize what your needs are.

        I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t think about others or care for them, I’m saying that if caring for everyone else at the expense of always putting yourself last, then how effectively can you care for others?

         

         

        Have you heard the saying is you can’t pour from an empty cup?

        Essentially, the saying means that in order for you to effectively take care of others, you must first take care of yourself.

        So how do you fill that cup?  Because the fact is, you are worthy of putting your need first.  In fact, it is essential that you recognize what your needs are and start putting yourself first. Now if you have been putting everyone else first this notion of putting yourself first is going to feel uncomfortable.  I’m sure your mind has started to come up with lots of excuses about you putting your needs first.

         Often the mind will say things like this:

        • You can’t do that
        • That selfish
        • What will others think
        • I have to take care of my children, mother, father, partner.

        And let’s face it! the list could go on and on. But the fact of the matter is if you’re not taking care of yourself and putting your needs first who will take care of your needs?

        Do you ever catch yourself feeling resentful about doing so much for everyone else and no one seems to notice or be thinking about your needs,

        We teach others how to treat us and if you have always put everyone else first and our own needs last then this is what other will expect from us.

        You are worthy of having your needs met. In fact, it is essential that you start taking care of yourself and your needs. Stop putting yourself last and start putting yourself first for a change.

        I bet your next question is well that sounds great but how do I do that.

        You do that by starting to fill your own bucket!

        What does it mean to fill your own bucket? It means doing those things for yourself that you enjoy. You know those things that fill you up, energize you and give you joy in your life. Ultimately filling your own bucket.

        Unfortunately, these are often the things we push aside and come up with all sorts of excuses for why we can’t do those things that fill us up. Leading to a leaking bucket feeling depleted and your bucket empty.

        We are great at doing all we can to fill other’s bucket. But what about your bucket? How do you fill your bucket and prioritize yourself?

        Filling your bucket is about doing those things that are important to you. The things that you have a passion for, make life fun and enjoyable. Your bucket is completely unique to you. We all have things that light us up.

        What’s in your bucket?

        It’s time for you to have some fun and create your buckets. As I mentioned your buckets are unique to you. Don’t look outwards to find the answer go within, give yourself some time to reflect on what is important to you.

        Your bucket can take on many forms. It could be health, personal development self-care time. The list goes on.

        There are no limitations to what your bucket is. It is about you getting clear about what is important to you in life.

        Your mission if you’re ready to accept it is to create your buckets. Start by creating a list of all the things that are important to you. Those things that give you energy, support you or give you a whole lot of joy. Have fun and allow yourself to create your buckets.

        Here is an example of what my buckets look like. These are the things that fill me up.

        •  Quality Time with my partner
        •  Connecting with my Spirituality
        •  Taking care of my mental health
        •  helping others
        • Learning new things
        • Travel

        Create what’s important to you!

        Now it’s time for you to create your own list of buckets of the things that are important to you.

        Once you have your list of buckets. How are you going to make sure you fill each of them?

        Create a plan and prioritise your buckets. These are the things that are important to you and create your fulfilling life.

        You have two choices here. You can continue as you are and function on empty, or you can fill your bucket and feel full. It’s up to you.

        We must take care of ourselves before we have the capacity to care for others.  Else we end up with an empty bucket and feeling unfilled.

        Create your list of buckets and start filling them up!

        .

        Remember it’s not selfish to care for yourself it’s a necessary